Hogwart's own Singing Contest
by Jennykins3
Summary: Basically, this is my first fic. someone suggests to Dumbledore, that Hogwarts shold have a singing contest to showcase the talent at hogwarts. Its Funny, so R&R please
1. My Luv is Like Wo!

This is my first fic. I hope you like it. I liked the idea of a talent show. So I am going to have one. Well im not actually in it, but you know.  
Most of the songs are gonna be hip hop or r&b, but I would love some  
suggestions. R&r and send me the lyrics. Any way Read and reviewPLZ!!! Oh and by the way I don't own any of this. Not even one miniscule little  
speck. I own the plot and that's about it! Damn I wish my name was J.K.  
Rowling!!!  
  
Chapter One  
  
Default chapter  
  
:At Breakfast:  
  
James: Morning you guys  
  
Sirius: Morning Jamsiepoo  
  
Remus&Peter:HAHAHAHAHA  
  
James: Padfoot, SHUT UP! Why must you keep calling me that.  
  
Sirus: because I can, and because you know you like it!  
  
Peter: He has a point you know. James: Yeah on his head! Only my gurlfriends can call me that!  
  
Remus: wow, Padfoot, Prongs, I didn't know you swung that way. Sirus&James: SHUT UP MOONY!!!  
  
Peter: anyway, Prongs, what did Lily and you do last night . James: Well she. James is interuppted by Dumbledore. Dumbledore:Attention students! I understand that there has been a suggestion that Hogwarts should have a talent show. I think that it would be a great idea. It would give the whole school a chance to view your talents. So we will be having a talent show today. You all have till noon to prepare. Tuck In!  
  
Peter: cool a talent show  
  
James: well you know we are gonna enter  
  
Sirius: Yeah, it would give us a chance to show those Slytherin gits who really rules this school!  
  
Peter: Dumbledore?(Poor Peter)  
  
Remus: Peter, just don't talk, youll confuse yourself!  
  
James: ok here is what we are gonna do..  
  
They continue planning until about noon.  
  
Dumbledore: welcome everyone to Hogwarts first annual talent show. There will be six categories.  
  
*Funniest song  
  
*Most Romantic song  
  
*Solo  
  
*Duet  
  
*Group  
  
*Best overall Contestants can also make dedications . Well first up we have Narcissa Black singing My Love is like WO.  
  
She wishes to dedicate this song to Remis Lupin.  
  
James: awww moony is blushing  
  
Remus: I cant belive she dedicated a song to me . Sirius: do you like her?  
  
Remus: No, but I wonder why she is dedicating it to me anyway. Peter: shut up guys she is starting  
  
She comes out wearing a tight white halter top, a micromini skirt and thigh high boots.  
  
Narcissa:see baby  
  
I know you have had your share of gurls  
  
But I am more than confident that you wont have  
  
To search these streets for affection  
  
I got you  
  
What kind of gurl you like  
  
I know my looks can be deciving  
  
Tell me am I your type  
  
My main goal is to please you  
  
Whats on the special tonight  
  
Am I the reason youll be treating  
  
I hope you have an appetite  
  
So tell me will you come and spend the night  
  
My love is like wo  
  
My kiss is like wo  
  
My touch is like wo  
  
My sex is like wo  
  
My ass is like wo  
  
My bodys like wo  
  
And your kissin it  
  
So what you think of it  
  
My love is like wo  
  
My kiss is like wo  
  
My touch is like wo  
  
My sex is like wo  
  
My ass is like wo  
  
My bodys like wo  
  
And you kissin it  
  
So what you think of it  
  
When you come through  
  
Cause ill be waiting up right here  
  
Can you bring some belvadire  
  
So we can pop the cork and cheer  
  
Please have no fear  
  
I just wanna love you right  
  
I hope you have an appetite  
  
So baby will you come and spend the night  
  
My love is like wo  
  
My kiss is like wo  
  
My touch is like wo  
  
My sex like wo  
  
My ass is like wo  
  
My bodys like wo  
  
And you kissin it  
  
So what you think of it  
  
My love is like wo  
  
My kiss is like wo  
  
My touch is like wo  
  
My sex is like wo  
  
My ass is like wo  
  
My bodys like wo  
  
And you kissin it  
  
So what you think of it  
  
Your mine  
  
Wowowowow  
  
Taste it taste it  
  
Hold me like you never wanna let me go  
  
If you liking what your tasting  
  
Better let me know  
  
If you wanna love it  
  
Better love me strong  
  
Cause I want this love to last  
  
All night long  
  
My love is like wo  
  
My kiss is like wo  
  
My touch is like wo  
  
Youll never find nothing better  
  
My sex is like wo  
  
My ass is like wo  
  
My bodys like wo  
  
And you kissin it  
  
So what you think of it  
  
My love is like wo  
  
My kiss is like wo  
  
My touch is like wo  
  
You know its like wo  
  
Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo  
  
:polite applause:  
  
Sirius: well you think she has a little crush on remus?  
  
Remus: I am scarred for life now1  
  
James: oh shut up, I mean her body is like wo you know!  
  
Sirius: she looked kinda hot in that mini skirt!  
  
Peter: shut up guys look whos next  
  
Dumbledore: next we have Amos Diggory and Arthur Weasly sing "Suga Suga" They would like to dedicate this song to Molly Richards and Arabella Figg  
  
Arthur and Amos come out wearing Matching baggy pants and white shirts.  
  
Arthur: so tight  
  
So fly  
  
Got me lifted got me lifte  
  
Got me lifted  
  
Shifted  
  
Higher than a ceiling  
  
And ohwe it's the ultimate feeling  
  
Got me lifted feeling so gifted  
  
Suga how you get so fly  
  
Both: suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Amos: You know its leather when we ride  
  
Wood banging raw hide  
  
You know what we do  
  
Watchin swings get high  
  
Gurl you keep it so fly  
  
With your sweet huney buns  
  
You was there when the money gone  
  
Youll be there when the money comes  
  
Off top I cant lie  
  
I love to get blowed  
  
You my little suger  
  
Im your little chew low  
  
And every time we kick it  
  
Its all to the groovy  
  
Treat you like my sticky hickey  
  
On my sweet owwey gooey  
  
Remus: whats a sticky hicky:  
  
James: shut up  
  
Arthur: got me lifted shifted  
  
Higher than a ceiling  
  
And oowe it's the ultimate feeling  
  
Got me lifted  
  
Feeling so gifted  
  
Suga how you get so fly  
  
Both: Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Amos: now I aint worried bout a thing  
  
Cuz I just hit me a lift  
  
I gotta fat sack  
  
And a suppa fly chick  
  
Anda uh  
  
Aint a thing that you can say to a playa  
  
Caz dowap  
  
She fly like the planes in the air  
  
That's right she cool lawd  
  
Said in the worng tone  
  
Im digging the energy and im loving the ozone  
  
So fly like a dove  
  
So fly like a raven  
  
deep into politics  
  
In a fly conversation  
  
In a natural mood  
  
Im a natural dude  
  
And we some natural fools  
  
Floating out by the poo l She like my sexy cool mama  
  
With blades on her prada  
  
Rocking dolcha gabbana  
  
With hydrodros in her prada  
  
Arthur: she got me lifted  
  
Shifted  
  
Higher than a ceilng  
  
And oowe it's the ultimante feeling  
  
She got me lifted  
  
Feeling so gifted  
  
Suga how you get so fly  
  
Both: suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Amos: You know its leather when we ride  
  
Wood banging raw hide  
  
You know what we do  
  
Watchin swings get high  
  
Gurl you keep it so fly  
  
With your sweet huney buns  
  
You was there when the money gone  
  
Youll be there when the money comes  
  
You know its leather when we ride  
  
Wood banging raw hide  
  
You know what we do  
  
Watchin swings get high  
  
Gurl you keep it so fly  
  
With your sweet huney buns  
  
You was there when the money gone  
  
Youll be there when the money comes  
  
Arthur: : got me lifted shifted  
  
Higher than a ceiling  
  
And oowe it's the ultimate feeling  
  
Got me lifted  
  
Feeling so gifted  
  
Suga how you get so fly  
  
Both: Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Suga suga how you get so fly  
  
Amos: so high like imma star  
  
Feeling so high like imma star  
  
Feeling so high like imma star  
  
Feeling so high like imma star :Loud applause from the Griffandors and Hufflpuffs:  
  
James: that was ok  
  
Remus: I still don't know what a sticky hicky is  
  
Sirius: hey look who is next James:  
  
James: What, ooooooohhhhhhhhh hahahahaha  
  
So what do you think? R&R. all flames will be used to burn Lord Voldie at the stake!!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	2. Pimp Juice

Hey guys its me again! Thank you to those who reveiwed. Iluvdraco4eva thanks a lot 2!!! Someone reviewed and it was anonymous so thank you !!!!! I got a suggestion to use the first song. Ill try to use other suggestions! Um the lyrics are from memory so if they are wrong, im sorry!!!! Well on with the story! Oh wait,:groan from the author: I forgot to say that I don't own anyof Harry Potter. I don't own the songs either! So plz don't sue!  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Dumbledore: Next we have Severas Snape and Lucius Malfoy singing "We Will Rock You". They say this is dedicated to the Maradur Scum  
  
They both come out wearing matching overalls. Lucius:Bloody you're a boy  
  
Making big noise saying  
  
In the street  
  
Gonna be a big man some day  
  
Snape: Got mud on your face  
  
Big discrace  
  
Kicking your can all over the place  
  
Both:singing we will  
  
We will rock you  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
Lucius: Bloody you're a young man  
  
Hard man  
  
Saying in the streets  
  
Gonna take on the world some day  
  
Snape:you got Blood on your face  
  
Big Disgrace  
  
Waving your banner all over the place  
  
Both: singing we will  
  
We will rock you  
  
Sing it  
  
We will we will  
  
Rock you  
  
Lucius: Bloody you're an old man  
  
Poor man  
  
Beating, with a rise gonna make you  
  
Some peace some day  
  
Snape: you got mud on your face  
  
Big Disgrace  
  
Somebody better put you back into your place  
  
Both:We will we will  
  
Rock you  
  
We will we will  
  
Rock you  
  
Everybody  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
:they leap off the stage trying to get people to clap:  
  
Remus: well that sucked  
  
James: I know but it is our turn now  
  
Sirius: lets kick some slytherin butt!!!  
  
Dumbledore: next up we have Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew singing Pimpjuice. They would like to dedicate this to Goldilocks and Snivilus, who have no Pimpjuice at all.  
  
James is wearing baggy white pants with a green top and bandana( for Lily). Sirius is wearing the same, but it blue, Remus in red, and Peter in yellow  
  
James:yall ready  
  
Sirius, Remus, Peter: uh huh  
  
All: come one, Pimpjuice  
  
I think I need to let loose  
  
Let her loose  
  
She only want me for my pimp juice  
  
Not my pimp juice  
  
Talking her pimp juice  
  
I think I need to cut loose  
  
Sirius: Im in that seventy 4 coop divil  
  
With the power seats  
  
And leather wood on the wheel  
  
One touch touch on the roof  
  
Better leave it alone  
  
You hardly see it, cant believe it  
  
Going back on the song  
  
Wwwwooo shit  
  
All: that's how we do it baby  
  
Every day like this  
  
Pimping baby  
  
James: I tell you v 65  
  
Winter spring in the fall  
  
In the summer we ride  
  
You acting like you never seen it before  
  
Like them wizard boys don't got no dough  
  
Gurl please, get out  
  
Don't you slam that door  
  
Dust your shoes off  
  
Before you touch the floor  
  
All: you really wanna put your feet on my rug dontcha  
  
You really wanna put your feet on my rug  
  
Remus: you in a hurry  
  
Slow down  
  
I might let you touch it  
  
Gurl you aint from russia  
  
So why are you rushin  
  
All: : come one, Pimpjuice  
  
I think I need to let loose  
  
Let her loose  
  
She only want me for my pimp juice  
  
Not my pimp juice  
  
Talking her pimp juice  
  
I think I need to cut loose  
  
Sirius: You know im as clean as a whistle  
  
Im as sharp as a razor  
  
And anything with Slytherin  
  
They must be gay.  
  
Now listen all playa haters  
  
They should be played  
  
And all lovely ladys  
  
Should all be laid :Earshattering applause from all the feamles: that's why I  
  
I got my way  
  
Everyone got braids  
  
And now they switching to fades  
  
So im swithcing to braids  
  
James:just an example  
  
People be jacking  
  
If we were hoping  
  
Id be hallering a hacker  
  
I see you mama  
  
Rocking dolcha gabbana  
  
And gucchi and prada  
  
Baby I gotta lotta  
  
Remus:the luchina aint a problem for papa  
  
If that's all you workn  
  
Baby gurl imma holla  
  
Cuz you wanna put your feet on my rug dontcha  
  
You really wanna put your feet on my rug doncha  
  
You in a hurry slow down  
  
I don't like how you acting  
  
Treat you like how you acting  
  
You be like green bay  
  
Youll be packing  
  
All: : come one, Pimpjuice  
  
I think I need to let loose  
  
Let her loose  
  
She only want me for my pimp juice  
  
Not my pimp juice  
  
Talking her pimp juice  
  
I think I need to cut loose  
  
Siruis;Pimpjuice is anything that  
  
Attract the oppisite sex  
  
It could be money  
  
Fame  
  
Or straight intelict  
  
James:and gurls got pimpjuice to  
  
Come to think about it remus,  
  
They got more than we do  
  
: More loud applause from the female population:  
  
Remus:they got it in they toes  
  
Got more juice in they walk  
  
They got more juice in they brains  
  
Peter:I tell you man  
  
It's a crying shame  
  
The way people use they juice  
  
You heard me man  
  
Sirius: you know juice is color blind  
  
In fact it work on all colors, creeds  
  
And kinds  
  
James; Form ages fitty right down to nine  
  
Maradurville  
  
And I wont resign  
  
Watch me reclin  
  
Remus: you really wanna put your feet on my rug dotcha  
  
You reaally wanna put your feet on my rug dontcha  
  
You in a hurry  
  
Slow down  
  
We got all night  
  
In fact gurl  
  
Stand right there  
  
You know you aint right  
  
All: : come one, Pimpjuice  
  
I think I need to let loose  
  
Let her loose  
  
She only want me for my pimp juice  
  
Not my pimp juice  
  
Talking her pimp juice  
  
I think I need to cut loose  
  
Sirius;my juice, my juice she want my juice  
  
Remus:my juice my juice she want my juice  
  
James:my juice my juice she want my juice  
  
Peter: yeah she want my juice  
  
:Ear shattering applause: Sirius: take that Slytherin scum!!!  
  
Remus: Hey you guys, look who is next  
  
James: OMG!!!!  
  
MOOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!! I luv cliffys!!! Ill try to update soon!!!! What happens next you ask??? Ill never tell!!!!!! Unless you review!!!!!! :in a whisper, pretty please with sugar on top: 


	3. Bump and Grind

Chapter Three  
Baby  
  
Hey guys it is I, Jennykins3! I am so sorry it has taken so long to update! I have been busy with my other two stories! But here is the chapter! I will  
be using the requests that I got in the next few chapters! If you have anymore suggestions, then you can just email me or review and tell me! Oh, and I almost forgot! I am not now, nor have I ever been J.K. Rowling! Nope  
nope not me!  
  
Dumbledore: that was very good. Next we have miss Lily Evans, and Miss Arabella Figg, singing Baby.  
  
Sirius: hey do you think she is singing it to you?  
  
James: shut up there is more  
  
Dumbledore: they would like to dedicate this to Amos Diggory and James Potter, who are the best boyfriends in the world.  
  
:James fell out of his chair:  
  
Sirius: Prongs, Prongs are you ok?  
  
James: did he just say my name?  
  
Remus: um yes he did?  
  
Peter: I think they are starting  
  
Lily and Bella come out wearing matching strapless red dresses with sparkles every where, and matching strappy red heels. Sirius: they look hott, look at the dancing, look at those dresses. James:dude shut up, Lilys gonna sing soon, no talking while Lily sings!  
  
Arabella: I don't remember feeling like this I got this stone forming in my bones Got the need to premote my soul I couldn't breathe if he ever said Leave Get on my knees till they bloody red  
  
Lily: see I don't know if you get it yet Hes like the lighter to my cigarette Watch me smoke Remus: Lily smokes? James elbows him I never knew another human life Could have to power to take over mine So baby  
  
Both:Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby I love you Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, I love it when I hear your name Got me saying Baby baby baby baby baby Baby I love you Baby baby baby baby baby  
  
Lily: see I can never feel alone With you in my life I gave up every I own for you Hold me twice Oh most ashamed how you mesmerize I lose my thought looking in your eyes  
  
Bella:cause your kisses make my lips quiver And when you touch me My whole body shivers I can see how another life Can have the power to take over mine Cause you're my  
  
Both:Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby I love you Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, I love it when I hear your name Got me saying Baby baby baby baby baby Baby I love you Baby baby baby baby baby  
  
Bella: baby I cant see my world Living here on gods green earth You don't know what you done to me I never thought I'd need you despretly  
  
Lily: its kinda sick how im stuck on you But I dont care cuz im needing you And how I feel will remain the same Cuz you're my baby  
  
Bella: and when the world starts to stress me out Its to you boy with out a dout  
  
Lily:it keeps me straght and I cant complain Your like the drug you relieve my pain  
  
Remus: Lily's on drugs? James: shut up, she is singing !!!  
  
Bella:your like the blood flowing to my brain It keeps me alive and sane  
  
Lily: now this is how another human life Can have the power to take over mine  
  
Both:Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, Baby baby baby baby baby Baby I love you Baby baby baby baby baby Baby baby baby baby baby  
  
:loud applause from the male population, James is still stunned: Audience:AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW  
  
James: that was so pretty Lily  
  
Lily: I ment every word of it.  
  
Sirius: before you start to go into mushy mode prongs, look who is next.  
  
Dumbledore: Well now, every one calm down. I know that we are all excited.But we must go on with the show! Next up we have...Gilderoy Lockhart Singing Bump and Grind. He would like to dedicate it to well to himself, and Lily Evans  
  
James: WHAT?!!!  
  
Remus: how can he bump and grind with himself?  
  
Lily: James it is ok. Remus it is when guys..  
  
Sirius interupts: don't finish that, plz don't finish that  
  
Peter: hey it is starting  
  
He comes out wearing a tight black shirt(and much to the displeasure of the audience)and tight red leather pants.  
  
Gilderoy: my minds telling me no But my body My bodys telling me yeah Baby I don't wanna hurt no body But there is something that I must confess  
  
I don't see nothin wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump and grind I don't see nothing wrong Baby I don't see nothing wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump n grind  
  
See I know just want I want And I know just what I need yah So baby bring your body to me Bring it to me Im not fooling around with you Baby my love is true With you Is where I wanna be  
  
Girl you need some one Some one like me To satisfy your every need  
  
I don't see nothin wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump and grind I don't see nothing wrong Baby I don't see nothing wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump n grind  
  
You say hes not treating you right Then maybe you can spend the night Ill love you The way you wanna be loved No need to look no more Cuz I have opened up my door you never find another lover  
  
See you need to find someone Some one like me To make love to you Baby Constantly  
  
James: the only one who makes love to Lily is me! Sirius: wow, james you have some explaining to do! James: wait that came out wrong. Remus: lets wait till later to talk about this!  
  
I don't see nothin wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump and grind I don't see nothing wrong Baby I don't see nothing wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump n grind  
  
I don't see nothin wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump and grind I don't see nothing wrong Baby I don't see nothing wrong With a little bump n grind With a little bump n grind  
  
Nononononononono I don't see nothing wrong Nothing wrong Baby baby  
  
: polite applause: James: who in the hell does he think he is?  
  
Remus: I guess he likes Lily  
  
James: well she is taken!  
  
Lily: james I would never date him, you are one of my best friends and my boyfriend. :Whispers: no one will make love to me like you do!  
  
Sirius: aaww Jamsie is blushing. :groans: Oh Great the ravenclaw loonies are next.  
  
Well what do you think? Be honest now! Tell the truth! I really like this chapter! So if you don't like it, Tough!!!!!!!! Just kidding! So :gets down  
on one knee: Will you review me? 


End file.
